“Observing the sunrise from the mountain this summer was the most breathtaking experience I had. It took me hours to get a sense of the size of the terrain. Through the trees, I could see the sun rising in a dazzling display of colors as it peered over the dark, angular mountains. Vibrant hues of pink, orange, yellow, and red filled the sky. The morning clouds, though thin, floated through the sky, preventing the sunrise to the usual degree. The yearning spectators were quickly drawn in by the birds' flapping wings as they soared through the sky, passing through the rays of light. There wasn't a better site to see than this, I thought as I sat on the mountain peak watching the day develop. I considered how There was no better sight to behold, so I never wanted to leave. The trees' branches were arranged so that only a few rays could pass through, as if trying to escape from a prison inside the sun. Everything the rays touched was bathed in beauty, color, and vitality. As the sun rose higher and higher in the sky, the earth started to glow in the golden light.
I was unable to move from that location. I just gazed at the beauty of the horizon for the rest of that morning and most of the afternoon. After I eventually got out of my comfy spot, I made the decision to explore the area in search of more interesting things to see. I came upon a rather small lake while meandering along the mountainside. However, its vivid color and clarity more than compensated for its small size. This time, however, the sun had barely risen from the horizon and was bathing the lake in golden light as the wind stirred the azure waters. In the sunlight, the rippling water shimmered and shined as the subtle. Little animals emerged to admire the splendor of the sky. It was impossible for me not to want to be a part of the entire scene because it was so captivating. The craving was short-lived as I gave in to my need and sank slowly into the tranquil lagoon.”
“You immediately learn to leave a part of yourself at home. You fear that if you stand too close to others, they will smell like last night and your hair will get stuck in your hair. Yes, it was your favorite, and yes, you ate so much of it, and yes, you reached for it in the Frigidaire when you got home from school. But no, revealing your home life to others.
It doesn't matter if you shower at night or in the morning, your home will always smell like food and your clothes will always smell like home. So you stand pretty far, but it doesn't matter because you will learn so many names that don't like yours.
They're still not white girls, they're American girls because you're not American. And they call you everything - Chinese, Japanese, Korean - even Filipinos don't know.
And then you understand why your mother doesn't want you to play in the sun.”
You have been accepted into a graduate writing program in Westchester County, New York. A poet who graduates from the program will call you. I'm Filipino too, he says. You wonder if that's why he was assigned to you. He says: no. I don't think that's the reason at all.
The language you use to talk about race and ethnicity is not what is spoken in New York. To learn the art of writing is to learn the arts of whiteness. Workshops will officially irritate your tan. There is no coming home at the end of each day when home is 3,826 miles away. The refrigerator has no home. You can't buy a home at Stop and Shop. You dose what you bring from home, although you share selectively. Some of your new friends will want to listen and taste, but others will squirm and reject the things you put on their plate. Get rid of your vulgarity.
Some of the food is dirty. You will continue to learn this.
You only light food when it's all gone. You will learn to like brown rice. You don't want to explain corned beef with rice, crispy pork cheeks, browning garlic, avocado for dessert, hot dogs like spaghetti, hot dogs for breakfast, chicken skin relish and Taba caviar.
You feed on subversions and quiet historical stories. Asian American Feminist teaches you about Spam and the US military occupation of the Philippines, Japan, Guam and Hawaii. This will make you laugh Roommate: What is it with Filipinos and spam? You answer with a question.
Do you really want to know?
You don't have the luxury of being taught. Knowing Filipinos is like having Filipino friends. You search aggressively; go alone to poetry readings, until you meet Josef. And after he reluctantly says I grew up in Paramount, he looks at you and says, me too.
Your meal with Joosep evolves into a meal with Joosep and Lara. Then Gina joins. And Nita. Sometimes Ricco. Sometimes Sarah. A transplant from California, Marissa is placed in your life through your sister. They are bright and friendly Filipino artists, the table is so loud at home that when you return to Los Angeles, your old world becomes still in silence.
You will encounter cultural bullying, and this encounter is not random. This is a colonial mentality. Your mother pulls you out of the sun. It says Holly instead of Hosanna. It pretends to have cherry blossoms instead of mangoes. It laughs at this joke about dogs at a work lunch. Cultural angst, that phrase, no, that feeling, calls the self-loathing so adept at burying stories.”
Your lonely and hungry body enters the restaurant and joins the disembodied and removed.
There are signs with words that seem foreign and exotic even to you, because you know them only by listening - the voices of aunts and citines, who encourage you to fill one party after another with pancit, dinuguan, lumpia, lechon, pinakbet and puto. . You say the words in your head with your mother's voice: Kumain ka na ba? Try it out.
There is always a version of the Last Supper. Or comically large wooden forks and spoons. It may be a figure of a carabao. There are Capiz - chandelier or candlestick - shells designed as light diffusers.”
In the first creative writing piece the writer has used the “Personal voice concept” to express his own emotions and feelings to the writers rightly. “The morning clouds, though thin, floated through the sky, preventing the sunrise to the usual degree.” These kinds of sentences that has been used in the first creative writing piece that actually making this piece more realistic and contrasting to the readers. The word that has been used is actually connecting the readers to the more realistic view. The first creative writing piece is narrated by writer using the first person narration “I” that actually helps in understanding that it is the self-imagination based writing piece. Writer has also used the daydreaming theory that is suggested by the Sigmund Freud. In 'Creative Writers and Daydreaming', Freud proposes that fiction is a wish-fulfilling realm in which the artist, disguised as the hero, is guided by his ego to fulfill unsatisfied desires by means of phantasy (Rosegrant, 2021). This act is a continuation of childhood play as adults are ashamed of their fantasies and repress them. The first creative writing price includes some metaphors like ““Observing the sunrise from the mountain this summer was the most breathtaking experience I had. It took me hours to get a sense of the size of the terrain.” These kind of metaphors and sentences reflecting that the author or the writer is actually writing by using his own self imagined thoughts and by exploring the unconscious mind. The writer through first piece of writing trying to deliver the best fantasy piece of writing that includes the fictions which are not real. Readers can anticipate after reading the first piece of writing that writer is trying to deliver something that is coming from the memories of his own childhood and imagination.
Second piece of writing actually reflects the “Cultural Cringe” concept that Australian writers uses generally. A.A Phillip was the first Australian writer who introduced it in year 1950 (Kulkarni, 2022). This concept actually helped the Australian writers is differentiating their literally work from the French and English. By using the cultural cringe concept in writing, the writers can reflect their Australian culture in more inferior and superior manner. The phrases that is used by the writer in the second piece of creative writing like “They're still not white girls, they're American girls because you're not American. And they call you everything - Chinese, Japanese, Korean - even Filipinos don't know. And then you understand why your mother doesn't want you to play in the sun.” These kind of phrases depicting that author wants to express his feeling that how the other nation people have hatred belief for other nation people. This phrase actually depicting that how black and white people discrimination is still prevailing in the societies. How American girls treat the non-American people, and how non-American people afraid of not being called white.
Second piece of writing express the “ Anxiety and influence” of the writer in the artistic work. The famous American writer Joan Didion described the writer as "a different breed, lonely and resistant rearrangers of things, restless discontented, children who seem to be born with a premonition of loss." Joan Didion introduced the concept that writer’s anxiety and restlessness claims makes any creative piece of writing interesting to the readers. In the second piece of writing, there are many evidences that shows anxious claims made by the writer. For example ‘You search aggressively; go alone to poetry readings, until you meet Josef. And after he reluctantly says I grew up in Paramount, he looks at you and says, me too”. These kind of phrases expressing that writer has rearranged the words so smartly to make this creative piece more realistic. It is reflecting that how an abandoned child in other nation cultural is afflicted adversely and search for his/her own identity.
Kulkarni, S. (2022). Understanding cultural cringe among the youth of india (Age-18-29) with reference to bollywood mainstream cinema.
Rosegrant, J. (2021). “Creative Writers and Day-Dreaming" and Creative States of Consciousness. American Imago, 78(4), 645-657.
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